Month: February 2014

Well, we took Tank to the oncologist yesterday ( a month earlier than scheduled) because we felt like he was “off”. Obviously our instincts were correct which is heartbreaking. He has three pretty significant size tumors in his lungs. You know when you have that feeling that you have beat this nasty monster?? That is how we felt the last few months. We really felt like he was going to be the exception, not the rule. But that isn’t going to be the case.
The Dr. was great and explained to us his best guess as to what to expect. He said he feels like with no treament Tank is looking at a few weeks. We could just elimiate as much pain as possible and try to enjoy our time with him. Or, we could try Palladia. He reommended trying it for one month and then xray again to see if the tumors either get bigger, get smaller, or stay the same. Then we choose again.
For now we are doing the Palladia and started it yesterday. He is doing it every other day rather than M_W_F due to his size. I felt like yesterday he did ok.. but the more I read on this site last night the more nervous I got about it. We are asking some more questions today and hopefully we will feel a little better.
My heart is breaking ( as I know you guys understand). Tank will be 6 on Monday. It is just not fair!!! I am sick to my stomach thinking that it is going to be up to us to decide when he is in too much pain. I have never had to let a dog go and I have no idea how/when it will be the right time. I keep hearing/reading that I will know.. that he will tell me… but will I see it?? He is really struggling to stand up/lay down right now and that alone is breaking my heart. He just kind of collapes, and at his size it is a big fall.
Damn it, I wanted to beat this. I will share more later, I just wanted to let you guys know so that we could be added to prayer list and happy thoughts lists!!

Wow… just realized how long it has been since I have updated Tanks blog! Time really goes by fast doesn’t it!! I really just need a place to put my feelings because my brain and my heart are not really in synch right now. Ever have that feeling that something is just “off” with your tripawd? That has been me the past few weeks. I can’t pin point what it is, but Tank is different. He has slowed down quite a bit, he isn’t eating quite as much, and he just seems really tired. We have taken him to the vet and done bloodwork. The vet says his numbers are perfect…but we know him better than the vet and I am just worried. He wasn’t due to have his xrays unitl March 20th but we went ahead and got his appointment bumped to Wednesday of this week. I will admit it… I am terrified. I think it is back, and I am not sure he can fight it again.
I loved seeing the blog on facebook last week about Tripawds getting sick.. it was exactly what I needed to read. He might be fine, and I know that, but I am just worried about my boy 🙁 I am going to be so pissed off ( sorry!) if it is back. It is such an evil disease, and it picked the wrong dog. I know we all feel this way so this is the best place for me to vent. He is the BEST dog in the world, and he doesn’t deserve to go though any of this. He has been licking his paw lately and that scares me. If he gets a tumor in another leg that will be the absolute cruelest thing in the world. I know cancer returns, but I am not ready, and he is not ready. I will update this after we see the doctor on Wednesday but I just needed a place to think on paper. He is my hero, he is my boy, and I need more time with him. Please, don’t let this be bad news. Please just let him be getting older and slowing down. Please…